I moved recently, and I discovered a funny little notebook while unpacking boxes marked 'Office' a few weeks ago. It was a client book from my days as jewelry saleswoman at Saks Fifth Avenue. Full of names, addresses and David Yurman preferences, I was about to toss the thing when I remembered one of my favorite day job hobbies that helped me keep my sanity while prowling the jewelry cases at Saks; haiku.
Yes, I was a jewel-shilling poet. Don't you know it.
When bored to tears, I would compose a little poem. After a particularly horrendous customer exchange, I'd dash back to my drawer, whip out my client book and jot a line or two to capture, in poetic majesty, that dreadful woman and her horrible retail-manners. Grumpy bosshole blips, vexing visual merchandising moments and cranky co-worker complaints all found their way, via haiku, into my client book.
It is a truly bizzare day job that transforms, if only temporarily, an opera singer into an amateur poet. Do enjoy a few of these gems, courtesy the Fine and Fashion Jewelry Department of Saks Fifth Avenue.
angry rich lady
your sparkly fingers scare me
pay my loans off, please?
cable bracelets, please
radiation turqoise stones
David Yurman, bitch!
don't yell at me, sir.
I can't make your wife love you
no reciept, tough luck
you stole my sale, Suze.
I ordered that Michelle watch
goodbye, commission
I know, I know. I won't quit my day job anytime soon. However, poets with day jobs aren't unheard of, at least according to this interesting, witty and refreshingly 'real' blog I discovered while cruising the Internets. This blog, in addition to being a great read, also features Kitty Fondakowski, aka "Screamy Mimi".
To get a *real* haiku fix, visit the Haiku Nurse.
ha! You found me! Thanks for reading and giving me the thumbs up!
The most common "comment" I get on my blog from readers is "don't all poets have day jobs?"
Posted by: poet with a day job | October 03, 2007 at 08:18 AM